Mistica Chronicles


Welcome to Issue 78
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Local Bum Opens Restaurant
Written By Fallout

Local Bum and cherished crazy hermit person Bud the Bum has declared his new restaurant open for business! Located in an abandoned warehouse that lies adjacent to Bum's hole in the ground, the restaurant, accurately titled “The Trash Bin”, has opened its doors in a grand ceremony visited by exactly three and a quarter customers.

“Well, after my brief run for Supreme Emperor of Mistica didn't pan out so well, I decided that the next way to go was to open a restaurant business!” Bud said proudly from within the safety of his hole. “The location was perfect because it allowed me to tunnel my way inside it from my home, preventing the need for me to leave and be exposed to daylight.”

He then went on to explain that ingredients for all the food were selected from only the finest rubbish heaps in his collection. “Once you remove all the rusty screws and used napkins, those moldy cupcakes are almost as good as any!”

Guests are seated at one of many soggy, overturned refrigerator boxes and given a menu of items to select from. Which includes such delicacies as “Half Eaten Hotdog” and “Finely Chewed French Fries”, that are then expertly prepared by a team of highly trained roachie bugs and served by amalgamations of sworms pretending to be people. The most popular item on the menu by far was the “Rotten Banana Peel Surprise”, a dessert item that strangely had the effect of making one hungrier after eating it.


 


Patronage at The Trash Bin has thus far been disappointingly low, but Bud isn't phased at all. “They'll come back,” he says of a young couple who had just run screaming from the building after being served the Dead Fish Souffle. “Eventually, they'll realize that they forgot their car keys, and they'll be back."


Comments

Written By Silcoonsixx

Haha, love this!


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