Mistica Chronicles

Welcome to Issue 54
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Fallout's Guide to Gift Giving
Written By Fallout

Some of you may have already done all of your Mistmas shopping last month. Some of you are about to do it in the coming weeks. Yet still more of you will likely wait until Mistmas Eve, remember what month it is, and then scramble down to the nearest gas station (because it's the only place still open) to buy all your friends and loved ones old candy bars that have been sitting at the counter since last March and magnets with the gas station's logo on it. One thing all three groups will likely have in common is that all of you will have that one person that you just don't know what present to get (especially that last group...why does Aunt Brunhilde have to have a candy allergy and a non-magnetic fridge?). Fear not for there is a gift for everyone!

Disclaimer: We do not take responsibility for anyone who might try to murder you with a sharpened candy cane for taking our suggestions this holiday season.

The Picky Child: This kid wants everything and yet nothing you get them is ever good enough. They want a cool racetrack for their toy cars? The one you get them isn't big enough. They want a talking doll? They changed their mind...now they want the one that cries and uses the potty.
What to give them:
Socks. Give him your Ahbruis' old tug of war sock that you were replacing this Mistmas anyway and tell him that if he wasn't such a brat, the Mistmas elves wouldn't have put a hole-filled spit sock in his stocking.

The Self-Gifter: This person is the bane of gift givers everywhere. Weeks before a gift giving holiday they run out and buy themselves presents, usually the same exact gifts that you already bought them. What to give them: Gift cards. They're already treating themselves to gifts as it is. Why not let them choose their own presents? If you really want to make a statement, give them a gift card to someplace no one likes, like the Trash Hole.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend: You start worrying that the teddy bear you got her might be too cliché or that hat you got him might be too tacky. What to give them: Well you can't go wrong with food, right? Give them about twenty pounds of their favorite candy. Do they really like peanut butter? They sell those in jumbo sized jars, baby! Make them a sculpture out of it!

Last but not least there is one very important gift you must buy. When purchasing gifts for a certain person named Fallout, she would like a medium, blue sweater with a snowman on it, some fuzzy white and ice blue striped socks to keep her little feets warm throughout the rest of winter, and a coffee mug with a picture of her face and the words “Future Ruler of Mistica” on it, preferably one large enough to match her ego. Oh yeah, and beef jerky. Lots and lots of beef jerky!


This article does not have any comments.

Go Back to Articles

Go Back To Issue Overview