Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 11
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

3 Reasons Why Aetrai Are Better Than You.
Written By Ryuuko

So I’ve set out to spread the Aetra love.

“But Ryuuko,” you may ask, “you don’t even own an Aetra! What’s with that?”

Well, my loud-mouthed friend, the answer is quite simple: because I’m not cool enough to own one.

That’s how awesome Aetrai are.

Don’t believe me? Well, I’ve compiled a list of three reasons why Aetrai are awesome: so awesome, in fact, that they’re more awesome than you are.

1. They Can Swim Faster Than You Can Run

The fastest humans can run at around 25 miles-per-hour. Chances are, however, that you are not an Olympic athlete but rather an average person like a majority of the people on this planet; therefore, you probably clock in at somewhere around 15 miles-per-hour. We’re certainly not speed demons, but by Pandoria if a Rocky challenges us to a race we’ll (probably) leave it in the dust!

As land creatures, our performance in the water is much more dismal. The fastest swimmers on record have only reached speeds of 5 miles-per-hour, and those of us who haven’t received any training will simply drown if we’re thrown in the water (translating to a speed of 0 miles-per-hour).

Aetrai are much more aquatically-inclined than humans, and the average Aetra can easily swim at 30 miles-per-hour. That’s not only six times the speed of our fastest human swimmer, but just about twice as fast as you can run. On land. With those nifty sneakers that you mortgaged your house to buy. Furthermore, the fastest Aetrai on record hit 55 miles-per-hour, which is the speed at which your car is supposed to drive on certain stretches of highway.

They use their incredible speed to ram and stun their prey in the water, to escape some of the nastier predators, impress the ladies, and to make you look like a Blarney by comparison.

2. They Can Run Faster Than You Can Run, Too

As that Aetra went speeding past your boat and threw you overboard, damaging both your self-esteem and your expensive sneakers, an idea smacked you in the face: Aetra may be able to out-swim you, but they couldn’t possibly outrun you! That sneaky little critter would be left flopping about as you easily whizzed past the finish line if the race was held on your turf! So, stink in all of the air that your waterlogged lungs can manage and kicking your legs wildly so that you can cup your hands around your mouth, you shout to the Aetra in the distance, challenging him to a race. He accepts and, of course, beats you to the shoreline; but, as you flop onto the sand and wring out your clothes, you can’t help but smile with the certainty of your victory.

It’s amazing how quickly that smile fades when you promptly have your butt kicked by the same Aetra twice in one day.

Not only are Aetrai super speedy in the water – they’re fast on land as well. In fact, they’re faster than you are. You see, an Aetra has extremely powerful leg muscles which allow it to run just as fast as it can swim. So that 30 miles-per-hour it was going at when it hit your boat? Yeah, that Aetra can run just as quickly on land. This is because Aetra spend equal time on land and in the water, and as such, they have both predators and prey spread throughout both habitats.

3. They Could Take You in a Fight (and Win)
That’s it. You are sick and tired of being beaten by this Aetra, both on land and in the water, and you think that it’s just about time you taught it a lesson. “You may have bested me in a race and thrown me from my boat,” you roar, “but you shall not beat me this time! I challenge you to a duel!”

But just as you’re pulling out your deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, the Aetra tackles you to the ground; not the type of duel you had in mind, but you might as well go with it. However, just as you’re about to throw yourself into the fight, a group of that Aetra’s friends yank him off of you and drag him away. “Hey! Get back here!” you shriek, scrambling to your feet. “I’m not done with him yet! Pandoria’s left slipper, you cowards! You knew I would have finally beaten him!”

Whoa whoa whoa, keep that temper in control. I’d be a lot nicer to those kind Aetra if I were you, because they just kept you from having to pay one heck of a hospital bill.

The thing about Aetrai is that they are extremely delicious. And as such, they have a good number of natural predators (who can also swim and run faster than you can). Since Aetrai are obviously not extinct yet, this means that they have some pretty wicked defenses; defenses that can ward of a Belragoth and completely destroy you.

Do you remember how earlier I said that Aetra used their incredible speed in the water to slam into and stun prey? It can do that to you, too. Despite their comparatively small sizes, those high speeds create strong impacts that can crack bones, damage internal organs, and even cause brain trauma if they manage to hit you in the head. Furthermore, they have a nasty bite, made even worse by their bacteria-ridden saliva -- the germs are transferred into your body through the bloodstream should the Aetra break the skin, which means that the right kind of bite from the right kind of Aetra can leave you seriously ill. Aetrai are also incredibly agile and flexible, so they can easily dodge every punch you throw and cause you to actually do damage to yourself.

The biggest reason why an Aetra could beat you in a fight, though, is this; to them, it’s all just one big game. They are extremely playful and social by nature, and often engage in races and play fights with the other members of their group. They also will display this behavior with members outside of their species if they are prompted to do so: for example, if you challenge them to a duel. And, because they are used to playing with other Aetrai, who are much less fragile than human beings, they usually end up going too far and don’t realize the implication of their actions until the ambulance has already arrived.

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