Mockingbird Winning Entry

Spring, the magic season. With all those blooming buds and singing Skillows and banes of survival in Mistica dashing around with whacking sticks. Heck, I'd rather stay asleep. I won't even try to see the point in breaking into peaceful hibernation just to get some kind of concussion out there. Nothing that slithers is safe, and we aren't given any mercy. We're either hibernating or getting chased around in a waking nightmare. Fun life. And that was sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it. Sarcasm.
Just pretend you care how I feel, ok? For school I gotta write some persuasion essay pleading to you human readers to lay off on the whacking. Actually the teachers are just throwing me out as bait. There are reasons that I will not sign this with my name.
Duh, we have school. If you're one of the abusers then I wouldn't be surprised that you didn't know that. I mean, all this survival business is HARD. And shush, I don't just mean learning how to hibernate. Everyone knows how to sleep. I meant, well, catching our prey, for one thing. Come on, YOU try snagging a Koobi without some kind of whacking stick or weapon. Nope. YOU try catching one with just fangs and sheer skill. Ha, gotcha. I'm going to be honest and admit that, Znakes, we're pretty hot stuff.
I'm pretty sure you humans have kind intentions, trying to celebrate our return in the spring. You poor things simply must not have the intelligence to realize that not everyone likes being greeted back with a stick in the head. I do understand that you are a very strange species and it wouldn't surprise me to hear that you greet each other with cruel attacks to the head with whacking sticks, but please, refrain to using your strange habits with your own species. I mean, I know you guys are pretty odd, but lately I've heard that you even will write on a slip of paper and stick it into some kind of biscuit. Also I've heard that you run a plastic stick with bristles on it back and forth across your teeth with some kind of foam every day. Seriously? That's disgusting, guys! Why the heck would you want to do that?
Well, anyways, although I sympathetize greatly with you humans, I do (politely) request that you STOP WHACKING US WITH THOSE DANG STICKS. Three cheers for anyone who chose to save us! It's nice to hear that there's at least SOME sanity in your mad world.
Surprised that a Znake just showed you who's boss? Ha. You shouldn't be. I tell you, one day us Znakes will rule the world.
Oh, and to clear that other rumor up, we do NOT hiss. Well, we CAN, because we're amazing like that. Hisssssssss.
So, to summarize.
Nice people. STAY NICE.
And mean people...STAY AWAY.
Short and simple, just like that. Amazing how it gets the point across.
See? Shows you exactly what we waste our time...UM. I mean, learn. In school. Yeah. Learn. Excuse me while I go roll my eyes.